Give me more than I can handle

“Rock bottom.”
“Can’t go on.”
“At the end of my rope.”

Ever feel like that?

We knew when God changed our adventure to include unemployment for a while and to pursue new ministry opportunities that we would be under attack.

We knew that we would be fed lies that sound a lot like…
“God doesn’t care for you.”
“You aren’t cut out for this.”
“You aren’t trusting enough.”

We put on that armor of God and asked to be covered in prayer by our friends… as we dove into this adventure that we didn’t choose.

Honestly?
I thought I could handle it.
I thought we could handle it.

But then the car needed tires.
But then we had a shower drain that was leaking to the ceiling below.
But then we had a hot water leak under the house.
But then the electrical bills came reflecting the hot water leak.
And then the water bill came.
But then we found out how much it would be to clean up the flooding and fix the pipe.
And on and on…

I remember a few years ago after we settled from my car accident. We got a good sized settlement. We spent time determining how to use this money… we would buy a good used car, take a frugal vacation, buy a home, and have a nice emergency fund for a rainy day.

We had the car for a month and took it on our vacation.

The real adventure began when the transmission broke on the way. We were stranded for a couple of days and it cost more than triple what we planned on spending to pay for the extra hotel, rent a car, and get our car towed to get it fixed. The saga continued and I will just say that this car was a money pit.

A year later, our emergency fund was GONE.

Did God let us down?
Maybe we didn’t hear Him right when we bought the car?
Did we just make a wrong choice?

Why do we think that a trial-free life demonstrates His plan or favor?

He promises to give us wisdom when we seek it in the book of James (chapter 1).

Just because things didn’t turn out the way we thought they would…
doesn’t mean we made a mistake or didn’t make a wise choice when we bought it.

If I believe my God to be true to His Word… and true to His promises, than I have to believe that it was not a mistake that we faced unemployment with almost all of our emergency fund already gone.

As much as I want(ed) that security net… He knew I didn’t need it because HE IS MY SECURITY!

It is no oversight that we are where we are right now.
And, it is no mistake that we are faced with trials and tribulation in this world…

James 1:2-3
“Consider it all joy my brethren when you encounter various trials.”

The thing is. I need not be surprised when I struggle or suffer.

Not only should I expect it if I am to choose to follow Jesus…
But, this suffering… is more than I can handle.

These struggles that break me, bring me to my rock bottom.

And, that is where it gets ugly.

And we know all about what God does with our ugly, don’t we.

Don’t believe the lie that God won’t give you more than we can handle.
He does.

It is this weakness that brings us to our knees – where He can do His most beautiful work.

My ugly becomes His amazing beauty.

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This is Day 5 of the 31 Day Challenge: My Ugly, His Beautiful. You can follow along here.

Care to join in on the writing challenge? The Nester is putting it on – you can learn more here.